1. |
Monologue
04:15
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I won’t hate the world
I won’t hate myself
Teach me to love
Though it’s in my nature, not
I can’t live in sin
I’m just counting down the minutes
Until I’m miserable again
Comparison alone is my greatest fear
The world knocked me down and left me here
In the lowest state I have ever been
Spit out and forced to mend
Not afraid to see the world outside of me
It’s a cold world outside, stick to yourself if you want to survive
Every day my assurance runs farther
When my joy will always falter
And loneliness slips through the cracks
In this world that I’m living in
That is filled with sin
It’s so hard to resist
The pain I’m in
Every day it seems easier to wallow in sin
I can never win
Should I abandon my morals and sell myself in
The sun has gone down on me. I am forever left here to rot.
I can depend
On you to lift me out of this mess that I’m in
You gave rebirth
I’m tired of loneliness and not seeing my worth
To everyone I’m just a second thought
Even though to you I’m not
God, why have you let this world turn its back on me?
I want to be free
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2. |
Jordan At The Buzzer
02:25
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Every day I wish I were dead
So put a bullet in my head
How would you feel if you couldn’t speak?
My look on life is bleak
My emotions I can’t comprehend.
Is this what it’s like to reach the end?
All alone I carry on in strife for the rest of my life
Refuse to give into their views
I’m a rebel I was born to lose
You tell me to choose
But I’ve been at it for years
To follow my peers
You tell me that I’m a lucky kid
But I’m pretty good at fucking up
I won the gold in disappointing myself
It’s never been us vs. the world
It’s always been me vs. you
Myself I hate, though I know it’s not of You
Why can’t you fix me?
Why can’t you make me whole?
Oh God I’m trying so hard
I’m starting to hear your call
Though I hate myself, I have worth
Though I hate myself, I have a purpose
Though I hate myself, You give me worth
Though I hate myself, You give me a purpose
I’m taking my life back
When I’m back in that corner
I always keep one thing in mind
Saturday night is all I know
I’ll see you at the show
Because I can’t speak
These songs will talk for me
These nights always remind me
How much I want to forget
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3. |
All Alone/Listen Up
06:06
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All Alone:
I have received the word of Your grace
But I still can’t seem to find my place
Will you take me as I am
Or will I fall and forever be damned?
Fight the urge to retaliate
Child-like faith will never be the same
How can you use me in my immaturity
I’ve found your truth I’ve found your grace
But every single day it gets harder to bear the weight
Of the life I was given, where livin’ is dyin’
I only live to let you down
I can’t save face for myself
Chains are broken, been set free
From my putrid cell, in my prison to roam free
Are you able to recognize me? Am I someone that you see?
It all comes back to me the guilt, the pain, the fear, the shame
Shouldn’t I be free? God, what the hell is wrong with me?
Wide
Is the void in my soul
Chained
Like a dog to a pole
Trapped
In the mind of my own
Buried
My coffin bears no soul
How can I forget?
Our nights of regret
Those sleepless nights
Spent up wondering why
Wishing and thinking what I could’ve been
I’m not ready to die, I’m not ready to rot
Lord save me from myself
Before I’m everything that I’ll never be
Anguish of the soul
Don’t let me rot
——————————————————
Listen Up:
Warriors in the shadow of the most high
Dreaming of revival in the scene
In a world that is dark and bleak
We bring hope, truth, and your glory
A sight unseen and a wisdom that is most supreme
Why can’t others see the joy inside of me
Am I in the wrong?
Walking around like a chicken with its head cut off
I say I know you but sometimes I question if I really do
I cry loud
Then I’m silent
God hear me
God use me
Is this what my life is to be?
To help others see your glory
I got my issues don’t put it past me
I’m a walking life long tragedy
Army of one
A Christian in the Hardcore scene
No better than any of you
But I’ve come to understand your point of view.
So this goes out to you. Everyone fighting for the cause.
Look forward, Look Up, never look back, never lose sight of Jesus Christ.
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4. |
Shame, Regret, Disgust
03:32
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There are not enough sorry’s
To make up for the damage I’ve done
There is no peace in your broken heart and none in mine
I’ve done all I can, I couldn’t do more.
Fight the urge to be a snake
If you have nothing it’s easy to bite the bait
The constant fighting in my soul
Makes it hard for my mind to have control
My human nature gets the best of me
In all the worst ways
I won’t be that man anymore
I’m just a rabbit chasing its tail
In this dark cruel world that we call home
Down the rabbit hole, there’s nothing left for me here
I look at the setting sun, and I bow my head for I know it’s over
All my chances, I blew it
Who is this man I don’t recognize his face?
I’ve lost my way.
What can I do to truly change?
I’ve lost my way.
How can I reverse your loss and my gain?
I’ve lost my way.
Maybe hating myself will make it okay?
Things won’t change.
Another kiss, another thrill
Another way to seal the deal
Lies and deceit only get us so far
Another kiss, another thrill
Another way to seal the deal
Will we find a way out?
Yes, but we won’t survive
The story of the two lovers
Ends with a crash and a bang
There are no happily ever after’s
Just pain to wallow in
The man sees his reflection
In that moment wants to escape
But he’s forced to look upon the mess he made
I won’t be that man anymore.
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5. |
Bloodlines
03:10
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It’s a really cold world outside
Stick to yourself if you want to survive
A piece of advice I never was one to follow
You need your family
The ones who breathe life into me
You need the guidance, the wisdom, the love, the home forever
The ones who have your back
The ones who are poison free
The ones who take your faith in Christ seriously
Blood is important but it isn’t everything
Family is those who want what’s best for me
Your family is the one you choose
Texas Hardcore or a chosen few
Your parents, your brother, your cousins
Who?
It all affects your view
This is my home, this is my home til’ death (x12)
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Perseverance Texas
Central Texas Hardcore
xSamuelx - vocals
xAveryx - Guitar
Jason - Bass
xHunterx - Guitar
Jimmy - Drums
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